Tuesday, July 31, 2012

OMG.

I love you

As of right this moment, Elvis and I just experienced THE most disgusting moment of our short time together.

Dear Lord, My 15 month old just ate his own poop.

Someone please slap me with a wet, live fish and tell me this didn't just happen.

From another perspective, I figure this must be some hilarious moment, but step in my point of view for a split second and get ready to hold your lunch down. You might want to put down whatever your eating for now.

There I was, sitting at the table, searching for a song to put on youtube to entertain Elvis. Suddenly I notice my son has been oddly quiet in a corner behind the couch that is not visible from where I'm sitting. So I strech my neck a little to look around the corner and see my baby sitting, smiling, looking straight at me with some kind of pudding-looking stuff around his lips, his arms, his legs, the wall, and the carpet. I sit there wondering for 5 seconds, "What is that? Mud?"

My mind recoils in horror. My eyes widen in shock. My hand covers my mouth in utter disgust. Kind of like this:

ITS POOP! Dear lord. I get up from my chair faster then a hooker does when she hears the police approaching and run like hell broke lose over to him. "Please, anything but..." Nope. Definitely poop.

I stand there like some kind of illiterate moron, staring at my toddler...SMILING...with poop on his mouth. I enter into a code red stage. Although thoroughly and completely nauseous, I grab him under his arms, lift him and keep him arms length away from me, and do some sort of shuffle/run/power walk to the bathroom. I carefully take off his shirt and his hazardous diaper and put them down far, far away from the tub. As if the moment wasn't just peachy the way it was, he manages to slip and fall in a tub half way full of warm water...with pieces of poop floating around. My face drops.

Well, after I make sure every nook and cranny sparkles more then Edward Cullen, I take him out, dry him, dress him and put him in his high chair. Me, half wet with water from his splashing (clean water, duh) and still with the desire to throw the piece of watermelon I just ate up, grab a rag and get to work on disinfecting my carpet and walls. While Elvis sits in his high chair quietly playing with a toy I gave him, just staring at me like I was the one who made the mess.

I quickly google what to do if he eats poop; surprisingly, at this age it's perfectly normal for toddlers to go through a -GAG- POOP SMEARING stage. WTF! Apparently, children at this age experiment and are starting to take notice of their surroundings and the way their body works. Usually, a child is not disgusted by the smell or -Again, GAG!- TASTE of their own bodily function.

It's perfectly normal of him to do this and it just means he will be ready to potty train soon. Some articles actually asked if it was normal for a child to eat it on a REGULAR BASIS. First, EW, Second, what kind of mother are you!? The worst that can happen is that he might get diarrhea from this incident, and if he develops a fever I should call my doctor right away, but its not deadly. Relief.

Through all the drama, I guess I now have a story to embarrass him with in front of his wife someday. :) I still love my rug-rat.

I love you

Monday, July 30, 2012

Email-Capsule

I love you



This letter was written at emailcapsule.com 6 years ago when I was 13. Amazingly, I actually recieved it. So cute lmfaoo
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Dear Future Version of Me,
Well....right now im typing this e-mail on july 31,2006. If you don\'t remember its probably cuz ur dumb. Im Marjorie and right now im 13. I AM writing this letter and I hope I get it in the future. It\'ll be cute? idk (i don\'t know). I want to REMEMBER Daniel John Maza (Male,16,been knowing him for 9 months now) I promised him I would never marry anyone and wait for him. I REALLY want to keep this promise. I love him. He\'s so sweet and gentle and I just love him. Im living in a tan-house with my mother, sister vicky, sister lindsay, brother-in-law jose, niece angeles, and nefue Junior (fransico juaquin salinas). I love this house and everyone in it. My mother is 51 right now and I love her SSOOO much! My mamita lela is living with us at the moment. I love her SSOO much too. This letter will be recieved 6 years from now. Please remember the promise you made to Daniel. U really want to keep it. No SEX UNTIL UR MARRIED TO HIM! I want to stay virgin until im married. I want D aniel to be the frist. :) I love him SO FUCKEN MUCH!! My life right now is ok. Im fat and weigh around 220 (last time I weighed myself) (like and year ago) (whatever) Im excited because my 15th b-day is coming next year! WO HO! U better have kept a video from it. I\'ll never do anything like this again and I hope i really DO get it in 6 years when Im 20. If I don\'t have any other reminder then I want this to be it. I have my own room in this house. oh the address is 313 Barclay Dr. Glendale heighs IL. 60139. If I ever want to visit the old thing. Right now theres a clear sky and clouds, and birds everywhere. I went to six flags yesturday and rode almost every roller coaster they had. It was such a blast! I love my life! at times I dont\' but I do right now. I have my period so I couldn\'t go swimming in six flags although I REALLY wanted to. DAMN. I gatta make some self-reminders, here they are:

1:KEEP UR PROMISE TO DANIEL!
2:No sex until ur married to him!
3:Go visit \'Indianna lakes national dunes\' sometime.
4:Go visit six flags sometime.
5:Make something of my life, at 20 it isn\'t late.
6:KEEP UR PROMISE!
7:REMEMBER DANIEL JOHN MAZA!
8:Always smile. Its famous around daniel and friends.
9: My friends are....Karen gutierrez(8 years now), Kassy and Gaby partida (twins,5 years now), Nadia Chumbipuma(1 year now),Holly torres(1 year now), Janet(juan\'s niece,3 years now)...those are just my best friends. I can\'t name all my friends cuz it would take forever.
10:My crushes have been......Jacob kline(7 years now),Brandt Zimmermann(2 years now), Daniel John Maza(8 months now),Steve brake(2 years now)....
11:Let kids (if i have any by 20) be free and don\'t punish them to hard if they do something worng, don\'t wanna be a bad mother.
12: let kids make their own desicions in life from 13 and up.
13: Have fun in life, not all business. Enjoy it while you get the chance.
14: Love Daniel forever.
15: Remember the singing group OBK. Its Daniel\'s favorite band.
15: Ur song with Daniel is \"Si esto no es amor-OBK\"
16: Live life.
17: Be careful.
18: Love every moment u get with a person u love.
19: REMEMBER UR PROMISE NOT TO MARRY ANYONE BUT DANIEL JOHN MAZA!!!
20: Always SMILE! :D

Well.....I guess its time to say goodbye to my future me. I hope I remember this and all the promises and all the fun I had when I was 13 and under. I love my life and always will.....
Forever Daniel\'s Babe, Gloria Marjorie Sarti Martinez
P.S-Ur nickname to Daniel is \"Baybee boo boy\" or \"Boo\" or \"sweetheart\" or \"babe\". He calls U \"babe\" U love him and u always will...promsie me that, say it to the computer right now! say \"I do remember Daniel John Maza and I will not marry untill I marry him and have kids with him and he\'ll be the first one I have sex with and children, i swear I\'ll keep my promise and remember all my friends and the fun I had when I was 13 and under. I wont let my life go to waste and when I make a promise......I promsie to keep it\" \"I promise\".
Good bye Marjorie (age 20) GOOD LUCK IN LIFE!! :) Written at Mon Jul 31, 2006

I love you



Tuesday, July 10, 2012

...Life is a bitch.

I love you





...Yeah...That's great. PLEASE pile on more shit on my life as if I didn't have enough.I can't believe half the bullshit that happens to us.
As though it weren't bad enough owing like 1k to the hospital, more then $400 to my mom, and a bunch of little payments elsewhere, we just HAVE to get screwed with another $2,250 for a fucking accident.

Here's what happened. I was on my way to pick up my mom --Because non of my other sisters want to.-- and made a left turn into a parking lot next to her job so I wouldn't have to drive all the way around and make a u-turn like 3 miles down from her job, and drive ALL the way back to her place. I've seen hundreds of cars go in there, and considering there is no sign ANYWHERE of not turning in there, I turned. God forbid I get away with such a petty thing when other cars drive right through red and get away with it. No, there just happens to be a fucking noob police man sitting on his ass in a dark parking lot that saw me and boom, right away after me. When I saw those lights flashing, my heart fucking sank like a rock to my ass. I knew there where multiple things wrong with my car that I was taking care of, but one at a time. For example, We didn't have money to pay the car insurance that month, so it expired 3 DAYS before this happened. My headlights had to be on high because they were broken and like I said, we had no money. Besides that, he also included the little orange sticker that goes on your plate that costs $100 cuz it had expired also like a week before. Sigh..Anyway, He charged me with those three things and said he would let my little license plate light that was burnt out go. What a fucking gentleman. Thank you, for saving me those little $20. Don't know what I would have done if that was added to the $2,250 I still owe phew! >:(

Long story short, they never sent me my court date and on the tickets it said nothing about how much I owed, in fact the officer told me I would be mailed a court date. My cased was closed and I was convicted without even knowing. Received my warning in the mail today about having to pay $2,250 by Aug 3rd. Which is like 2 weeks away. Don't know where we are going to get the money from.......but we need to or I'm guessing there will be a warrant for my arrest out pretty soon. Great. Perfect life right? Whats your sob story?


I love you

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Selfish as hell.

I love you





Click image for link.


...Say "Hello!" To the new Fresco Chrome feeding chair. This is baby luxury at it's best. The price? Oh, just a small $650...Thankfully, it's being giving away by A-List Moms. For the past 30 minutes, I have been spamming this site since there is no rule about how many times you can enter. I've been abusing CAPS and smiley faces to attract the attention of whomever chooses the winner; but at the same time, I've been reading other comments along the way.

It surprises me that the majority of the people entering want this chair because "It would look so nice with their decor." Umm...Are you serious? I'm spamming the site because I sincerely need this chair. My son has not had a proper feeding chair since he was born except for an ugly hand-me-down that lasted him about 3 months then he outgrew it because it could no longer slide to open up the seat because of how old it was. Now I sit Elvis on the couch or the floor or a normal chair where he stands up and starts bouncing and forgets he is eating. God it's so annoying being a person on the cheap end of life and watching everyone else splurge on toys and clothes and decor for their children when the majority of the things my son has were already used by other people; and then coming across this site and reading that they want a $650 chair to make their probably already beautiful home better? Get out. How about giving it to someone that NEEDS it? They say that it can hold up to a 80 pound baby. that is like a 3 year old! Are you joking!? Do you have any idea how much of a blessing it would be to win a chair that would last that long, and be so safe and comfortable and inviting to a toddler? I would be thanking god for as long as I had the thing!

I can't get over how much I would love to win this. Really, winning ANYTHING at all would be amazing. Good things in our lives come few and very far apart. It just really annoyed me how selfish some people can be. "I want it because of the colors! They match my house!" You know what? My house is decorated with whatever is convinient. We have wood and glass mixed together, our bed sheets don't match our pillow cases. We have random colored plates in the kitchen. I don't care about how beautiful my little home can be, I care about having things that we need and that come cheap. Eventually we will have a beautiful home for our son and possibly other future children to grow up in, but for now, we make due with the things we have. Be serious, the most expensive thing in the house is our bed that was $400, lol.

Although, I will admit that if I won this chair, I would put it right where everyone can see it when they walk in. A shiny, beautiful feeding chair would take away the attention from our one love seat couch with a red blanket over it to give it a little spice....and to hide the stains from its previous owner. Yeah, it would be nice to win it to have SOMETHING people can be jealous of. For once, we would be asked, "Where did you get it? Its so nice." *sigh* but then again, there are more then 2,000 comments on the site already. My 10 comments are practically invisible to them. This chair is nothing but another dream.



I love you