Sunday, January 13, 2013

.....World's End.

I love you

I'm at worlds end now.

Whatever that feeling was, its gone now, and it hurts. What I see on the other
end of my long road, beyond the veil of the fog in my eyes, seems warm;
a Shinning light so bright, so welcoming...I must go to it, It's calling me.

How can it be, that though I'm surrounded by darkness, I can see light? It must
be a trap, but I can't afford to let it slip away. It's beams give me releaf of
my ever aching soul. This light proves it - that this death is not the blissful
oblivion I used to dream of...it's a nightmare I cannot wake up from.

There will be no more embraces to reassure me it's alright. No one to cheer me
on as I walk this long road. There seems to be nothing but liberating tears; my
road is more a stream then a pavement. I must swim...but I don't know how to.

I can hear muffled sounds in the distance. Quiet cheers sing in unison to a song
I do not recognize. They sound so joyful...so content. Will my voice join them
someday?...I wish there was a living hand here to hold my icy fingers...This
landscape is cold and lonely; But no one will find me here.

It's too dark to see me.

I swallow a mouthful of pain; its the only warmth I feel in this icy hell. I focus,
and begin to take a step - but the pain clings to my chest...possessive, heavy,
swarming with a world of tears. I can hear my soul begin to cry. It's tears are
of diamons...too frozen to be shed in this place.

Someone please pull me.

My wings have taped to my body. I wish they had been cut off, I would be lighter than.
I wouldn't have objected it...there is nothing for me to fly towards anymore; and
I cannot remove the tape by myself. There is no point in struggling. My lips merely
quiver, but my prayer is much stronger than the breath I have lost.

I'm not ready...Not until-

The light disappeared. I'm now in complete darkness...
I took to long, and it went away..
I wonder when how long it will take this time to shine again.

I love you

Saturday, January 12, 2013

....Why am I not dead?

I love you

.....I apologize for how emotional this blog will off the bat. I'm crying, because I realized stuff after the car crash.

To start, I was just driving on St Charles Rd towards my home on President St. I just turned left off Schmale road and was going like 35. A black Mercedes to my right was waiting to turn into traffic heading the other way. He didn't see me and just drove forward. I was too late to brake fully and ended up hitting him hard with my left front light as he was turning left to go the other way. The left side of his nice car from wheel to wheel got scrapped and dented and to my surprise, my Camry was only dislodged from the corner atop the left front wheel. Besides that, just the paint got scratched off and my light broke. I can't say how impressed I was with my little car.
Anyway, it happened, I turned off my car and stepped out angry. I slammed my door shut and told the asian idiot to step out but he didn't listen and just looked away. I called the police, yata yata...he's fully responsible for the damages on both cars and got a ticket.

My mom was in the car with me but she was fine. I thought I was to, but that was just my adrenaline. Cause now I'm in full blast pain from where I got the epidural for the C-Section and my neck hurts to turn to the side.

When my mom left with Vicky, who came cause the car is still under her name, I was left alone to think about what happened and calm down because I was shaking quite a lot.
I looked back, to Elvis's baby seat....and began to cry.

My seat covers had blocked the safety lock on the back of my seats to close right and so my seats flew forward when I braked....Along with Elvis's car seat. (You see, my car is one of those that you can bend the back seats down so you can see the truck.)
For some miracle of god, I decided last minute to leave Elvis with Vicky while I picked up my mom from work. I began to cry because...I'm pretty certain....My son would have............he would have....

I don't want to think about it. I just got mad again and through the tears and reached around and pushed the seats as hard as I could backwards and just began to cry. That could have been my son...His seat was...touching the back of the passenger seat and it was tilted to the left. the seat belt holding it in place was tightly around the neck of the seat...where his throat usually is...

I have never felt that kind of panic in my life. I started hyperventilating and then just crying again cause I was thankful he was not there. I would have ended my life right there and then if something happened to him.

Anyway....I called Jan....because as I thought of it...I realized...Before I hit the car..........Jan's, Elvis's, Jes's face popped into my head. I heard their names. It happened so quickly....I don't even know how to begin to explain it....
When they say your life flashes in your head when your in danger...they were not kidding. It was a horrible thought. I knew Jes wouldn't answer...and why should he...he doesn't love me either way...why bother him...

So I called Jan.....2 times....No answer...just pushed to voice mail. And as I sat there, about to call the 3rd time...I threw the phone to the backseat and sat there...covering my face...

Why am I calling him?
Neither of those two men care enough about me....why should I call either one of them?

And than it hit me...
A pain I've never felt in my life before and never want to feel again.
I hadn't even felt this way when Jan told me what happened that one night and I literally fell to my knees and rolled into fetal position and started crying my soul out.
Not even that pain matched this...It was a pain of totally desperation...helplessness....it was a pain realizing that if I would have been dying right there and then..........

I would have no one to reach out to and hear their voice before I died. I'd have no one to tell me they loved me before it all ended...

My absolute biggest fear in life is to die alone...It's a phobia...I hate being single and I hate being alone and It terrifies me thinking I have a chance of dying alone...and today...I came close to that phobia...
What if I would have been dying and I choose to call him...He wouldn't have answered...and I wouldn't want to distress Jes before he goes to war by telling him I'm dying...he would never find out...so then...I'd just......I'd die alone...

I can't describe the pain I feel...I've lost all hope completely....Before, I might have been dramatic to say I'm alone in this world....But today....just now........it just.....I guess I wasn't being as dramatic as I thought...

I would literally have no one -and I mean a lover not family or friends- to be there with me if I were to leave this world. I'd go alone...but maybe.......that's what I deserve...

....And...its funny.....how many people would get angry with god after thanking them for saving my son's life....be angry that the one time I could have died without killing myself, just a legit way...he decided to keep me alive. I got angry with him and ended up kicking my back wheel just repeating over and over in my head...
You should have killed me! You should have just taken me away from all this! Elvis is fine...he wouldn't remember...it wouldn't hurt him...You should have just taken me back home..
Over and over....angry with god...because he didn't let me die.

.......I should have died........I want to die.

The feelings back....That depression I haven't felt in a while...that full blown feeling....it's back...and it's hitting me full force this time.....And all i want to do is dig my own grave and shoot myself in the head...end all of these thoughts, these useless feelings, this pain...just end it. I was trying so hard to fight off this lingering feeling...that stupid emotion...I was trying to hard to keep it at bay, keep it under control without the help of anti-depressants. And I was doing it...but after today....after realizing I'm alone after all....My walls fell...and the blackness is just absorbing every thing I was proud of myself for doing, like school and work...it's eating me alive now....and I feel nothing but emptiness and pain....even the love for my son isn't enough to make me stop wishing I was dead...that's how bad it is.......If you have never felt this feeling...be thankful...its explainable...

I apologize in advance for how moody I'm going to be for the next few weeks. When I'm in this mood...I have mood swings bad enough to make me look bipolar. The reason being that....well...think of it like this...My depression and the feeling of needing to die...it's an infection. They've knocked down my wall and I need to rebuild it, all while killing these thing and pushing it back outside of my system. So little by little, I'll seem happy because I'm pushing it out....but it will get my easily with anything that happens...any drama, any argument...it feeds it. Then I go back to being a bitchy, dark, emotional bag of shit. I'm sorry. And don't worry...I know how to handle the feeling...Its an old friend of mine. I'll be fine. I won't kill myself...I don't think there is anything worse then realizing you're alone in this world besides...something happening to Elvis...which it won't.

Thanks for reading. Now fuck off.

I love you

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

....Beauty Unrecognized.

I love you

....I've decided that I will keep writing my personal feelings when I get them, but when I'm fine like now, I'll fill the space with stories or with news that make you open your eyes a little. Since around 50 of you read my posts, why not attempt to open 50 minds to something new...I'll probably lose a lot of you along the way, but that would be your decision.

I'd like to introduce you to Joshua Bell.

This man has to be one of the most well known violinists. He was also contacted by the Washington Post not long ago to do an experiment. Josh was to stand in the middle of a busy train station in D.C during rush hour to see how many would realize that this famous artist was playing one of the most complicated pieces ever written for free, when just a couple days earlier this man had sold out at a concert where the seats cost $100 each. Not even including that he was playing with a violin that cost more then 3 Million dollars. It was estimated that around 1,100 people rushed past him in the 45 minutes he stood there playing, and out of all of them, just a handful stopped to admire the beauty of his music. He managed to gather $35 but from people that just dropped the money into his case and kept walking.
Is that really being a good person? Walking by, dropping a dollar, and continue walking without noticing what they are doing?

Anyway, it's extremely sad how the world has priorities beyond stopping to realize the small things in life that could make your day a whole lot brighter. The washing post asked,
"If people are missing a famous violinist with an instrument costing more then 3 million dollars, what else are we missing out on?"
And let me tell you something, I don't know about you, but these kind of stories make me sit here and ponder for a while...what AM I missing? What have I missed with all this going on in my life lately? Have I underestimated someone that has been trying to help me? Have I just blown past something beautiful while out?
I hope I haven't, I'm usually pretty good at seeing the beauty in the world although I'm beyond depressed at the moment....

My hope for humanity is diminishing slowly...The nice, decent souls in this world are being murdered by all the hatred. There just doesn't seem to be time for kindness anymore. People are following their dreams more then before now because it's easier then ever to achieve them, what with all the different ways to go about it.
That is a wonderful thing...except that almost everyone has a dream of having more money....and not many are remembering to stop and look for love as well. I'm trying to hold on to that dream, the dream of finding my true love, but its slipping away from me day by day. The men I love and hold dear in my heart are ignoring me...The friends I care about are far from me...and everyone is giving me the cold shoulder despite the amount of pain I'm in. Love is starting to become an insignificant part of life...and for the ones that still believe in it....it's getting harder to find for us...so we are giving up...

Eventually...Love will be something of the past...TRUE love I mean. I don't want to live long enough to see that day come.

Think about it.

I love you

Monday, January 7, 2013

......Mission Impossible.

I love you

Another story. Long one again, My Bad.
Oh...And another thing, when you see this Icon:

I means that the post contains SEXUAL CONTENT and is not for the easily offended.
I will say *all* the body parts and what is being done to them in detail. So ba-bai if you're you're a weakling.

This is not a real story.
And it works better if you're listening to "Heavenly Day by Patty Griffin"/ "These arms of mine by Ottis Redding" or any other very slow song you like.

In fact, here's my sexy Playlist. Give it a listen whilst reading...Don't blame me if you're horny afterwards.

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[[Backstory]]

---Terry Blackwell is a famous detective in the Big Apple. His name is known throughout the country for his crime solving abilities and his amazing looks. Everything in his life was perfect, besides being raised by an alcoholic father and a shop-addicted mother who kept the family in constant debt; He had everything he ever wanted...a beautiful home, a nice car, and a job he absolutely loved. That is, until his work hit home when his sister, Maddy, was murdered. Terry took it upon himself to hunt down her killer personally. The number one suspect, however, was suspected to be Lindsay Scott; No one could pin anything on her though, for she was also a widely known character. She was Queen of the runway; so famous and rich that she was easily able to hide anything she wanted, including her crimes. Terry developed a plot to seduce her and get her to confess on her own....little did he know what fate awaited him.--

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"Oh No! Terry help me close the windows!" Lindsay exclaimed as she ran up the polished oak staircase in her shiny, purple stilettos. He noticed the way her silky black dress clung to every curve, and how she loosely held onto the onyx colored handle even though she could easily slip.
Terry, although soaked, cold and beginning to feel the effects of the vodka they just drank at the Christmas Eve party, ran through Lindsay's spotless living room, leaving wet footprints along the way.
Lindsay's perfect, little nose wrinkled when she stopped at the top of the stairs and turned around. She saw the mess left behind by Terry's footsteps but she didn't say anything and rushed to the guest room to close the window which was making the blinds bang against each other. The cold breeze cause her wet bra to turn cold, and she could feel her nipples become hard underneath her clothes.
"Lindsay your floor is a goner. The rain has made everything wet, including your couch." Terry yelled back to her.
He could hear her tiny feet scramble back and forth upstairs, closing every window in the giant 3 story urban home.
When he no longer heard her, he walked quietly up to the biggest room which he guessed was her bedroom and noticed she had forgotten that window. He removed his shoes before entering the white carpeted, light rose colored wall room and slowly walked towards the window, noticing distinct details along the way.

He noticed how the delicious pungent of her perfume filled the big room easily; and that there was a giant mirror on her ceiling covering every corner. Her bed was king sized and covered with black silk blankets and what appeared to be 20 different sized pillows. Everything in the room was made of Honey Wood and polished to a perfect shine. He saw a walk-in closet big enough to be a separate room and a private bathroom with white tiles to match the carpet. The counter tops appeared to be made of marble....it was the type of home you see in magazines but no one ever believes is real.

The window closed easily and quietly and for a moment, terry forgot where he was. The weather outside was horrible; He could hear the wind howling as it made the trees sway to the right, almost in an artistic way. The rain matched the direction and was coming down at an angle. Somehow, though, the moon's rays pushed through the clouds and still made their way into her room. Casting shadows on the wall. Everything was beautiful.
"Terry..." Lindsay's soft voice startled him.
Terry turned around slowly and noticed the beauty of this slender women standing at the door way.
Lindsay had platinum, wavy hair that hung down to the small of her back and brushed gently the top of her perfectly round ass. Through her wet clothes he noticed her defined abs and beautiful hour glass shape. She had gorgeous, strong legs any model would be envious of; and only to be completed by a pair of tiny, feminine feet. The way she stood at the door way with such a pose that screamed confidence made her all the more sexy. His eyes run up her body again, up to her perky breasts and hard nipples visible through her thin bra. Terry felt his heart rate increase as his eyes slowly detached from her breasts up her to face. She seemed to perfect to be real, not only did she have an athletic and feminine body, her face tied it all together. Lindsay had rose colored lips and a defined jaw line. Her cheekbones were that of a model, high yet soft. She had piercing green eyes and perfect white teeth. Diamond earrings fell from her small ears and drew attention to her face as they glimmered with the moonlight.
She's Breathtaking....How could this women ever be a murderer? Terry questioned himself as he stood there, ogling her.
She blushed gently and lowered her eye sight away from him, slowly pushing her hair behind her right ear and placing her left arm across her stomach. She folded her arms and stood there quietly. "...Why are you looking at me like that?" It was almost a whisper, but Terry heard her and snapped back to reality.
"Oh, I apologize, Lindsay, It's just.....You're honestly breathtakingly gorgeous." He looked back out the window, heart pounding like a steel drum within his chest. He was sure she could hear it.
"...Terry.." She repeated, even softer then before.
He did not turn around this time, for he might get sucked back into this succubi's power and fall victim to her. She's you're number one suspect, Terry, She might have murdered Maddy. You're on a mission!......God, am I developing feelings for this women?....No! No! I can't!He kept attempting to reassure himself as her body ran through his mind...he could feel the tension rising in the room. The atmosphere was suddenly heavy with lust.
"Terry look at me." Her angelic voice flowed throughout the room.
He met her gaze over his shoulder. His body language was subtle, but very clear. The way his hands were in the pockets of his jeans with his thumb sticking out and how his shoulders were pushed slightly forward, like he was hiding something or embarrassed. Their eyes met and a sharp feeling was felt in both of their stomachs. She wanted him as badly as he wanted her. The room, and their hearts, caved in. "..Take off your shirt..You'll catch a cold; it's soaking wet." She told him as she took a step closer. He noticed her stilettos were still on, making every stride she took all the more predominant.
He obliged to her demand and slid the wet shirt over his torso slowly. Her eyes were eating him alive; and when she gazed back to his, he could see a desire burning within her...and he couldn't resist anymore.
Every step she took towards him was sexy, her breasts bounced a bit as she walked, and her nipples seemed to have gotten harder.
Lindsay stopped a few inches away from him and looked down. A small smirk appeared on her delicate face and he blushed.
"What are you smiling about?" He turned back towards the window.
"..Help me." She whispered into his ears as she held onto his shoulder and brushed her nose against his ear. A shiver ran down his spine and he turned around. She faced away from him and slowly parted her hair over her left shoulder. Terry's shaking hands softly grabbed the small zipper and pulled it down. Piece by piece, her toned back was being revealed. The zipper stopped low enough that he saw the red thong she had on. She stood there, but leaned her head to the right slightly, giving him access to her neck. His instincts kicked in...He had finally fallen victim to his goddess...and he was O.K with it.

Terry placed his hands on her small waist and kissed her neck. She let out a small gasp for his warm breath felt so welcoming on her cold neck. He slipped the dress over her arms and it fell to the ground with a small thump from all the water it was retaining. Her carpet no longer mattered to her, it would eventually dry.
He continued to kiss her neck and shoulders while unbuttoning her lacy, red bra. His penis was completely erect now and she could feel it. As he slid her bra off, Lindsay reached around to undo his pants and push them down. He stepped back and kicked them off, along with his boxers. As Lindsay stood there, in front of this handsome man, she finally saw what her imagination had been raving about the past few weeks. He was everything she imagined him to be.
Terry's career was obvious through how muscular he was. It was clear that he was required to do a lot of athletic things quite often. In the dim light, you could easily estimate his height to be around 6 feet 5 inches...and his body was a fortress of lust. His muscles were so defined and taut. A spark of fear ignited within her; she knew that if this man to, he could easily kill her...but that spark turned her on even more. His masculinity was strong...the vibe he gave off was that of complete power and control...It was so alluring. His arms, legs, chest and back were all defined and had beautiful dips and rises. She started profoundly at his dick; it was hard and sticking directly out towards her. It did not curve or bend in anyway, just perfectly straight. He was circumcised, and although his length, she guessed, was around 7 inches...it was thick as well. A strong vain run from the base to the tip, circulating blood quickly. She could feel herself becoming wet from the sight. As her gaze slowly made it up to his face, she was stunned. Lindsay didn't understand whether it was just her burning desire for him making her see this gorgeous face in front of her, or if he was real.
Apart from his rock hard body -no pun intended- His was was something anyone could stare at for hours. Every feature on it was as defined as his abs. A sharp, straight nose, a jaw line any man would die for, big, soft lips and deep blue eyes. All of it enclosed with soft and luscious light brown hair.
....Is this man real? Everything about this situation is so surreal, I might be dreaming... She thought quietly to herself.

She had removed her thong while staring at his body and was standing there naked in purple stilettos. He approached her and kissed her roughly, tasting the cherry lip balm she was wearing. His hands grazed over her tiny body as he pushed her towards the bed with his torso. As they reached it, he placed both hands right beneath her ass cheeks and lifted her up; her slim legs wrapped around his hard waist as he continued to kiss her, but crawled onto the bed. As she unwrapped herself from him and slowly let her back make contact with the silky covers, she shivered. They continued to kiss in his position....her legs spread just enough for his leg to kneel between them. His hands squeezed her breasts and she began to groan through the kisses. His lips left hers and moved slowly down her cheeks, neck, and shoulders until they were around her nipples. His tongue danced in circles around them, and once in a while he would gently blow onto the wet, exposed skin and she would moan gently from the cold sensation.
His fingers were softly rubbing her wet vagina and once in a while he would make them circle around her clit then plunge one deep into her without warning while his mouth was busy with her breasts. She was becoming very wet and her moans were increasing in volume. After a short while, he increased the speed at which he was fingering her, a small wet sound from the movement was the only other sound in the room besides her high pitched moans and his deep breathing.
"Terry.." She groaned.
"God you're delicious." He replied, whispering into her ear very quietly.
She pushed his hands away and then forced him to lay down on the bed. Lindsay climbed on top of his, giving him a wonderful view to her breasts and abs as her fell down her back, tickling his penis just a little with the tips. She sat in a way that his dick would rub against her vagina, but it wasn't in just yet. Bending over so her nipples were touching his chest, she kissed him and bit his lip; quickly stopping and making her way down his neck and shoulders. She stuck out her tongue a little and licked right down the middle of his body, holding his hands down on the bed. She licked his chest up and down while rocking her waist back and forth, moaning from how his dick rubbed against her clit.
She slide down his legs and stuffed his lengthy member into her mouth. A sudden gasp was heard as she skipped the slow part and went right into a full blown blow job. She noticed his hands clutch the sheets and his head tip back a little as his breathing rate increased. She stopped at his head and circled her tongue around it a few times. She movement drove him insane and it was obvious. She pulled away and fondled his balls a little, gently squeezing them in her small hand and giving them a quick lick once in a while before she began sucking on one of them, then the other.
"Lindsay stop.." Terry was barely able to moan the sentence out.
Disobeying him, she went back to sucking him at a rapid pace and his moans become louder and closer together.
"Oh god!" He exclaimed and grabbed the back of her hair in a bunch and he pushed her head deeper. She choked a little was was able to keep from gagging. He moved her head up and down quicker then she ever could.
"Can I cum in your mouth?" He asked her, barely breathing.
"Please do, officer." She joked in her sexy, naughty girl voice.

Terry came harder then she expected and the cum flew straight into the back of her mouth. She gagged a little, but kept in place until he finished. As he opened his eyes again and looked down at her, he waited for her to get up and go spit it out, but to his surprise, she simply sat on his legs and swallowed it. Wiping off her mouth with the back of her hand. Impossibly, he was turned on again and just wanted to pump the living hell out of this women.
He kissed her again, while she held his penis and stroked it until he was ready to go again. Terry pushed her away and she got the hint that it was time. Slowly, she lowered herself onto his shaft and they both moaned in anticipation to this moment. She was tight and he began to wonder if she was a virgin.
With her looks? I doubt that. He pondered.
"Darling, are you a virgin? You're so tight.." He asked, embarrassed.
Even in just the light of the moon, he could see her cheeks turn red.
"Y-Yes...I'm sorry, I never told you..." She gave him an innocent look and then looked away.
He turned her face back towards him and said softly,
"You feel amazing...don't be shy...just please tell me if I'm hurting you."
"You're not...this feels wonderful." She claimed. Looking profoundly into his eyes.

He grabbed the sides of her hips and began to slide her up and down. She leaned back and held onto his shins for support. Her breasts bounced in rhythm to each trust and their moans were ringing through the entire house. He bounced her faster and harder until sweat began to drip down his chest and forehead. Terry noticed her abs were glistening with sweat as well and he told her to get off in a seductive voice.
She sat on the bed and they both caught there breath for a second before he laid her down and spread her legs. He lifted them far enough so he could sit between them and slide his dick into her. Terry's strong hands held her beneath her thighs as he rocked back and forth into her, getting a perfect view of her entire body bouncing around. Her arms where above her head, holding onto the bed's headboard and she was biting her lip.
A sudden clap of thunder was heard outside, and the rain picked up speed. Beating against the window at a fast pace, matching his thrusts. She was moaning loudly now, not being able to resist the feeling of his dick rubbing her G-Spot.
"Keep going!" She yelled and moaned again.
"Yes, Goddess." He replied, gasping.
He pushed into her harder, increasing his speed to go as fast as he could. He saw her hands now clutching the board for dear life and he knew she was close.
"Cum, beautiful." He told her, and let go of her thighs to grab her bouncing boobs.
"I'm cumming!" She yelled and began to slightly scream.

Terry was close as well, He knew they would cum at the same time.
And as if by magic, she came at the exact moment he did and their voices joined and created one loud moan.
He thrust just a few more times slowly, then slid out. Suddenly noticing he was not wearing a condom.
"Oh my god, I'm not wearing a condom. I'm so sorry, I'm clean, don't worry...I just don't want you to be angry." He said, breathing heavily.
"No, don't worry, I'll be fine!" She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her, kissing him.
"That was amazing..." She whispered into his ear.
He pulled back a little and smiled, looking into her eyes.
"Do you understand how beautiful you are?" He inquired.
"Do you understand how gorgeous YOU are?" She joked back.

He laid beside her, and helped her take off her shoes. They both slipped under the covers and held each other passionately as the weather outside settled down as well and all that could be heard was the howling of the wind that still made the trees dance. Terry stroked her hair, and noticed the dancing shadows on the wall cast by the moonlight.
"...Lindsay.." He said before he fell asleep.
"Yes?" She was already closing her eyes.
"I've been with you for a couple months now, going on dates and hanging out.." "Yes..It's been so much fun.." Lindsay yawned. "I think..." He began but stopped. She looked up to catch his eyes. "You think what, Terry?" She asked, a small frown on her face. "....Lindsay...I think I love you." He didn't look away this time, but just stared at her. Despite everything he had warned himself about...He fell for this gentle soul next to him...and he was now doubting that she was the actual criminal.
"Terry....I think I love you to.." She gazed at him, and blushed once more.
He pushed back every fear, every doubt, and every worry and kissed her with such love. He hated himself for getting distracted from his mission...it was the first one he believed he would fail...but he couldn't resist Lindsay. He had fallen in love, and having her in his arms now, hearing her heartbeat, seeing as her blonde hair shimmered in the moonlight...he couldn't help himself, and fell asleep with a smile on his face and a feeling in his heart he had not felt before.

TA DA!! I think I have Carpel Tunnel Syndrome now but it was nice right!? :D Hope I didn't disappoint any of you!! Time for sleep, I'm beat! lol Seriously though, send me a message on Facebook and tell me what you thought!! <3 Goodnight!!

I love you